Lighten Up.

A cheerful heart is good like medicine (Proverbs 17:22)

Jane Austen once wrote, "What do we live for but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn." I was reminded today of just how important a laugh or smile can be in lightening our day. I was visiting an old workplace, when a friend reminded me of a prank that had the entire staff in stitches for days.

Looking back at my own life, I have had more than my share of moments when I amused my neighbors (even when that wasn't my intent). There was the time I quoted from the "American Standard Virgin," of the New Testament, or another occasion when I quoted the great philosopher - Socrates (but I pronounced it So Crates). You would have needed to see the Bill & Ted movies to understand.

There are so many funny occassions in ministry that I thought I would remind you of a few, and maybe you can share a few of your own. There was the time a co-worker was standing in the restroom, holding up his blackberry checking his schedule when another worker came in and said, "That is taking multi-tasking too far."

Or, how many times have ministers forgotten to turn off their cordless microphones during private conversations, or trips to bathroom?

One Sunday night I traveled over 150 miles to preach, only to learn that I was scheduled for the following Sunday (yes, they did let me preach that night).

We all need to lighten up and learn to laugh at ourselves. Someone once told me, "If it will be funny later, then lighten up and let it be funny now." How great is it when we can laugh at our weaknesses and missteps rather than be defensive of them.

So whatever else happens today, try to laugh about it. Turn it over to God, and turn your rainy day into a ray of sunshine for someone else.

Why & Wherefore

In science we learn the laws of cause and effect, in human nature we need to learn the laws of why and wherefore. Just as every effect has an adequate cause, every wherefore has an adequate why. All that to say, people do things for reasons and it would serve us well sometimes to stop and ask ourselves why?

• Why did my boss ignore my proposal?
• Why did my spouse snap at me for no apparant reason?
• Why are the kids so grumpy this morning.

Understanding the why behind human behavior can often make a challenging situation much better. If I realize that this is the week that our corporate 990's have to be filed, it makes more sense that my proposal hasn't received much attention. If the kids only slept for 2 hours and haven't had breakfast I am surprised that they are only grumpy and not killing one another.

Sometimes we are too quick to judge the motives and even the actions of others. I am not suggesting that we excuse bad behavior, or adopt the philosophy of situational ethics, just that we strive to have an understanding spirit. What a difference it makes when our character is strong enough to follow Jesus' instructions:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:43-48)

We become most like Jesus when we love those who are unloveable, forgive those who sin against us, and pray for those who do us wrong.

Transformed

This week I was reminded of the words of Paul "to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God for this is your spiritual service. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will" (Romans 12:1, 2).

In the next few days the movie Transformers 2 is probably going to break box office records. I was one of those eager to go see the movie until I overheard a friend mention the strong sexual overtones in the film. Concerned I went to Plugged In only to have my worst fears confirmed. The reviewers had this (and much more) to say about the film, "The first time the Transformers motored into theaters, Plugged In was dismayed by the film's sexual content. This time around, we're appalled." The next seven paragraphs described sexual inuendo, inappropriate dress, suggestive comments and a very open and course attitude towards the entire topic of sex. I understand there is one particularly graphic scene in the movie that is not appropriate for children (of any age).

My point is not to provide a movie review, but to return to Paul's words about "being transformed." Clearly Hollywood's goal is to transform our minds into garbage cans filled with filth and immorality. There is no doubt in my mind that Satan has taken the action thriller of the summer (that every kid wants to see) and has used it to fill their minds with the idea that sex is fun, appealing, appropriate and acceptable - a stark contrast to what Paul tells us in Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."

Plugged In is a great website for reviewing the content of movies and videos. I have always cautioned my children about putting drugs in their body, but at times I haven't been as diligent about the things they put in their mind. Transformers has reminded me of how important it is that we remain diligent.

WORDS

This week I was reminded why words are so powerful, destructive, encouraging, and dangerous. Everything we say, type, text or email has multiple contexts. Most of us have heard the illustration about the man who shouts, "YES, I LOVE YOU!" at his wife. His words say one thing, but the context says something completely different.

Twice in the same day I let my words get away with me. In both cases I should have known better. In the first instance I should have picked up the phone because email is cold and impersonal. In the second, the words had hardly passed my lips that I regretted saying them.

Whether it is marriage, a friendship or working relationships we just can't be too careful when it comes to the words we communicate. I recall a few years back when I got a very stern and "matter of fact" email from a business associate. I was deeply concerned that I had offended him and damaged our relationship for years to come. A few days later when I got up the courage to ask about the situation I learned that he wasn't upset, troubled or irritated with me in any way - it simply was sent in the cold, emotionless sphere of the internet.

So, how does context effect our communication? Here are just a few examples:

1. The tone of my voice or my body language may contradict what I am saying. My wife and children assure me that my eyes often betray my words.
2. Emails leave lots of room for interpretation. Rarely is the tone or emotion correctly communicated.
3. The sender may have sent what would have been a harmless email but it followed other correspondence that left the reader wondering. For example, if I am negotiating a difficult situation with a colleague and tensions are high, anything I write will be read in that context.
4. The recipient of the communication may have received it after having a bad day. Have you ever wondered why someone would over-react by a seemingly harmless comment. It was received at a bad time.
5. The recipient of the communication may have heard something similar in another context. If my boss spent all day questioning my work, I may take offense to something as simple as, "Honey, are you going to take the garbage out tonight." What may be intended to be a simple, honest question might be perceived as a criticism after a hard day.

What is the answer? If I never know how I am going to be perceived? If innocent words can be considered harsh criticisms? If a simple request is going to become an unreasonable demand, what am I to do?

* Apologize immediately! Even if you didn't mean to be offensive, a quick and sincere apology goes a long way.
* Don't get defensive! "I didn't mean anything by it. You are just too sensitive. I can't believe you twist my words that way." Those are all sure fire phrases to get you in trouble.
* Reassure the other person. I am sorry my words offended you. I value your friendship and it is not my desire to do any harm. Please forgive me.
* Be sincere and genuine. Comments like, "I am sorry you misjudged my words," or "I'm sorry I can never do anything right around you," are not sincere apologies. They are carefully crafted phrases intended to throw the blame back on the person who is hurt or offended.

These things are always easy (especially when we sincerely meant no harm), but that doesn't change the other person's perspective. We will never craft all our words perfectly, but that is why humility and forgiveness are such precious gifts.

Pride goes before destruction . . .

Most of us are aware of the words of the wise man, "Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall" (Prov. 16:18). Pride is one of the most insideous of sins. It creeps into our life without notice and then robs us of our influence, example and character.

Someone wisely said, "To truly know a man, watch how he handles success rather than failure. When we fail, our pride supports us, but when we succeed, it betrays us." I have little trouble being humble when life is hard. I am reminded of just how dependent I am on God and how little I can do without Him. It has always been in my successes that my character is most challenged. I tend to get a little too big for my britches, but God is quick to size me up.

Throughout the Bible we have seen the tragic effects of pride. Moses was not allowed ot enter the promise land because of pride; Nebuchadnezzer lost his kingdom because of pride, and Peter denied Christ because he was just so sure he couldn't fall.

Working in the mission field for the past couple of decades I have seen our brethren ruin good men and good works because of pride. We prop men up, we drape them in praise and glory and then wonder why they think they are more important than the work they are doing. I have seen far too many godly men destroyed because their successes betrayed them. I have often prayed for God to keep me humble, but I have not always liked the manner in which that prayer is answered.

A study of church history will quickly remind us that the church prospers in adversity. While I don't wish persecution or hardship on the people of God - there is a sense in which we must always labor for the kingdom. Our commitment to God can be measured in our toil, sweat and tears. May God always challenge our faith, bring us growth through struggles and hardship, and bless us because of our meek and contrite hearts.