Fireproof a Dynamic Marriage

This past Saturday I spent two valuable hours attending the new movie release FIREPROOF. Not only was it refreshing to attend a movie without profanity and gratuitous sex and violence, but to watch a film with a tremendous message of hope, commitment, and faith.

Three weeks ago Debbie and I began attending the dynamic marriage course at the Spring Meadows Church of Christ. During our first few weeks we learned about our deepest emotional needs and Love Busters (actions and behaviors that negatively impact your marriage). Debbie quickly noted a correlation between some of the themes in the movie and some of the great lessons we are learning in class. Let me share just a few with you.

First, when there is an emotional vacuum or a negative environment in a marriage, people begin to find other ways to meet their emotional needs. Sometimes these are withdrawal, or pursuit of a hobby or activity outside the marriage. More often than not, the withdrawal can lead an individual into an affair or emotional connection to another person.

Second, many of the Love Busters mentioned in class played out in the movie. The visual representation of these actions in the movie helped us to see the negative impact of these love busters. The angry outbursts, annoying behaviors, disprespectful judgements and selfishness all played a powerful role in the struggles this young couple faced. I also appreciate that the movie did not ignore the hard topics like the affects of pornography and unfaithfulness in the film.

Finally, the message of hope that comes through is encouraging. Despite the detoriation that had taken place; when a person surrenders to God and then seeks to meet the needs of their mate wonderful things can happen.

Fireproof is a good movie because it doesn't take a Pollyanna approach to marriage. It shows the hard work that goes into making a marriage great and emphasizes the role that God must play in creating successful marriages.

I would like to encourage all the readers of this post to do three things. 1) Go and see Fireproof. If for no other reason than the fact that we need to support movies with a positive message. If we want good movies to make it to the theaters, we need to support the effort. 2) Encourage everyone else you know to go and see the movie (especially in your churhces). 3) Seek opportunities to improve your marriage. The Dynamic Marriage course from Family Dynamics (www.familydynamics.net) is a great place to begin, but look for opportunities to do all you can to make your marriage great.

Trent Wheeler

Integrated Ministry

"But when you do merciful deeds, do not let your left hand know what your right hand does..." (Matthew 6:3).

When Jesus gave these instructions concerning our giving and good works, I don't believe he intended for every ministry in the church to stand alone. After 25 years in ministry in missions, it continues to trouble me how we carve out our own little area of work and never make an effort to integrate it into the overall programs of the local congregation.

Recently I was doing some training for a church in Alabama. The campus ministry was struggling with a sponsorship program for new university students. The idea was to match each new student with a local family, but it continually ran into administrative difficulties in keeping the program going. During the workshop, we integrated the women's ministry with the campus ministry in this one area. The women's ministry agreed to take charge of administering the program, and knowing these ladies convinced me there wouldn't be any lapses in organization or operations.

During our weekend together we took each ministry team through a complete evaluation of their work programs that included identifying needs, resources and outcomes. Once all of the information was charted, we looked at how each ministry contributed to the mission of the local church; how it overlapped with other ministry programs and how the teams could share resources and support each other's work.

It was encouraging a few months later to return and see how the teams were working together. Taking an integrated approach to ministry helped to conserve resources and improve outcomes. More importantly, the ability to see the ministry of the church as a whole gave the membership a real sense of accomplishment.

I would love to hear from our readers concerning how your congregation is integrating ministry programs to meet the mission of the local church.

Christ & Culture

It was the fourth Sunday in a row for Olua Kemi to bring her prayer before the church in Abuja. Kemi has waited for years in hope that God would open her womb and give her a child. Now she has taken her petition before her brothers and sisters in Christ.

Four weeks of prayers and still no answer from God. What Kemi's Christian family doesn't know is this afternoon she will visit a spiritual advisor and pour out offerings to her ancestors. While syncretism and pagan worship is taught against in our African churches, it is still practiced on a regular basis.

Kemi is caught between Christ and culture. She wants to have faith, she longs for an answers to her everyday problems, but she is immersed in a culture of paganism and idolatry. Like Christians around the globe she caught in conflict between two worlds.

Let me share another story with you. Rachel is a single mom living far too close to the poverty line. She just came out of an abusive relationship and is struggling to keep food on the table for her two children. Every day Rachel struggles with depression, dispair and low self-esteem. She attends a 12 step program at her church, goes to a Christian counselor once a week, and faithfully attends services every time the door is opened.

Saturday night Rachel has a date with a brother in a neighboring congregation. Her self-esteem soars to know that someone might be interested in her. After a quiet dinner at a nice restaurant the couple return to her home, where Rachel's date ends up spending the night.

Kemi and Rachel may live in dramatically different worlds, but they have one thing in common - they share the struggle of living for Christ in a culture of sin. Kemi is surrounded by idols and talisman; Rachel is drowning in a sea of sexuality and promiscuity. Both women respond in a similar way: Kemi begins to doubt if God is hearing her prayers and Rachel isn't sure if the church understands her heartache and loneliness.

The challenge in both situations is to develop an outcome-based ministry. The church needs to find practical answers to life's daily problems. Our preaching and practice needs to be application based. We need to put tools in the hands of church members that help them cope with the cares and concerns of the world.

I am not suggesting we change the gospel, but that we deliver it in a manner that helps people to live for Christ and trascend an ungodly culture.

What Happens when Men Lead?

On Monday, August 18th we are going to begin our own journey through the wilderness. We live in a day when a lot of time and attention is given to the topic of Leadership. Men like Stephen Covey, Jack Welch and Tom Peters have all written volumes on the subject. Charisma, motivational skills, and time management have all been addressed in great detail.

What really happens when men step up in the church and seek to exemplifiy true "male spiritual leadership?" Not the boardroom style, or charismatic leader that sways multitudes, but true biblical leadership that serves from the foot of the table. Leadership that is immersed in humilty, honor and integrity.

In our time together on Monday mornings we will have a short devotional and discussion on what God seeks in male leadership and we will devote time to prayer and support for one another as we venture out to lead in our homes, churches, community and workplace.

We will begin on Monday, August 18th at 6:30 am and look at a how God shaped Moses to lead a nation out of bondage.

Contextual Ministry

Why is it that a minister or minstry program can be tremendously effective in one location and impotent in another. Churches and preachers are notorious for jumping on the latest trends only to realize that they don't work in their neighborhoods.

The problem comes because many congregations have never stopped to look at their work and ministry in the context of the local community and church. Each congregation has a unique makeup and the community they serve has different needs.

This blog is designed to help congregations and ministers look at their community through new eyes and try to see the opportunities and challenges that God has placed before them in context.