Faith, Family & the Holidays

I will open this blog by confessing that I went to see the movie, "Four Christmases" this past week. While most of the audience found the movie funny, I found it somewhat disturbing. The general thrust of the movie is that a young couple have to visit four families (because of broken home issues) all on Christmas day.

The families in the movie were all dysfunctional in some significant way. I sat through the movie with a number of troubling thoughts:

• Is this really the state of affairs in America?
• How do the issues of divorce and blended families affect my own children?
• What can we all do to help our children navigate through the holidays and provide a positive experience for them.

Whether your family is "traditional" or otherwise, you have issues that you face during the holidays. It may be struggles over where to spend Christmas and New Years, or simply the battles between siblings once school is out for three weeks.

I have always believed that holidays are a time for faith and family. A time to reflect on the blessings that God has given us and a time to share with one another. It is tragic to think that we often worry about how to navigate through family politics rather than accept the blessings we recieve from God. This year in my quiet time and prayer time I will be praying for the families in our community.

"Father, bless the homes and families in our community. There are parents who are struggling, children who are hurting and so very many in want and need. Be with me as a father and husband to put the needs of my wife and children first. Help me to have an understanding heart and an open mind. Give my children and those around us a deeper understanding of your love and will in their lives. Father as I think of the gifts I can give, I pray that my emphasis is on my example. Help me to give my children a foundation of faith, to my community an example of a godly life and to my wife the love and respect she deserves. Father open my eyes to the needs that are around me. Allow me an opportunity each day to touch the lives of others in some small way."

www.trentwheeler.com

Fireproof a Dynamic Marriage

This past Saturday I spent two valuable hours attending the new movie release FIREPROOF. Not only was it refreshing to attend a movie without profanity and gratuitous sex and violence, but to watch a film with a tremendous message of hope, commitment, and faith.

Three weeks ago Debbie and I began attending the dynamic marriage course at the Spring Meadows Church of Christ. During our first few weeks we learned about our deepest emotional needs and Love Busters (actions and behaviors that negatively impact your marriage). Debbie quickly noted a correlation between some of the themes in the movie and some of the great lessons we are learning in class. Let me share just a few with you.

First, when there is an emotional vacuum or a negative environment in a marriage, people begin to find other ways to meet their emotional needs. Sometimes these are withdrawal, or pursuit of a hobby or activity outside the marriage. More often than not, the withdrawal can lead an individual into an affair or emotional connection to another person.

Second, many of the Love Busters mentioned in class played out in the movie. The visual representation of these actions in the movie helped us to see the negative impact of these love busters. The angry outbursts, annoying behaviors, disprespectful judgements and selfishness all played a powerful role in the struggles this young couple faced. I also appreciate that the movie did not ignore the hard topics like the affects of pornography and unfaithfulness in the film.

Finally, the message of hope that comes through is encouraging. Despite the detoriation that had taken place; when a person surrenders to God and then seeks to meet the needs of their mate wonderful things can happen.

Fireproof is a good movie because it doesn't take a Pollyanna approach to marriage. It shows the hard work that goes into making a marriage great and emphasizes the role that God must play in creating successful marriages.

I would like to encourage all the readers of this post to do three things. 1) Go and see Fireproof. If for no other reason than the fact that we need to support movies with a positive message. If we want good movies to make it to the theaters, we need to support the effort. 2) Encourage everyone else you know to go and see the movie (especially in your churhces). 3) Seek opportunities to improve your marriage. The Dynamic Marriage course from Family Dynamics (www.familydynamics.net) is a great place to begin, but look for opportunities to do all you can to make your marriage great.

Trent Wheeler

What Happens when Men Lead?

On Monday, August 18th we are going to begin our own journey through the wilderness. We live in a day when a lot of time and attention is given to the topic of Leadership. Men like Stephen Covey, Jack Welch and Tom Peters have all written volumes on the subject. Charisma, motivational skills, and time management have all been addressed in great detail.

What really happens when men step up in the church and seek to exemplifiy true "male spiritual leadership?" Not the boardroom style, or charismatic leader that sways multitudes, but true biblical leadership that serves from the foot of the table. Leadership that is immersed in humilty, honor and integrity.

In our time together on Monday mornings we will have a short devotional and discussion on what God seeks in male leadership and we will devote time to prayer and support for one another as we venture out to lead in our homes, churches, community and workplace.

We will begin on Monday, August 18th at 6:30 am and look at a how God shaped Moses to lead a nation out of bondage.