Country Club Theology

I have to thank a dear friend (who will remain unnamed) for today's blog. In a compelling discussion of church planting and church growth he talked about the culture and life cycles that some churches experience. The points of reference that follow are not true of all churches, but do characterize those I refer to as Country Club groups.

First, there are the founders or charter members. This group controls the keys to the kingdom. They write the original by-laws, manage new memberships and put "important" controls in place. In country club theology, these are the gate-keepers who watch carefully the growth and expansion of the club.

Next, you have the invitees. These are the folks we love to rub elbows with. I recall working in a small church years ago when a "country clubber" made it clear that there were certain people we didn't need to waste our time on in the community. They didn't have the right pedigree, the right skin color, or a sufficient financial portfolio. It ruffled his feathers more than a little bit when I preached on Romans 1:16 the next week.

As the membership grows you start to get the associate members. They can use the facilities (if they meet all the requirements), but they are on probation. As long as they don't challenge the founders, or seek to change the by-laws, or invite any of those "other people," then they are allowed to circle around the center of the founder's universe.

Finally, there are the observers. They are not observers by choice, but they aren't granted a membership card into the club, can't attend policy meetings, but they are allowed to pay their dues and watch what takes place.

I realize that this not the majority of churches, but if you have ever experienced country club theology then you know just how devastating it can be to the Lord's work. God calls all men to repentance, He wants everyone in the club, and I fear for those who would stand at the gates and block entrance to the eternal kingdom.

Veritas

I hadn't been preaching long when an older brother pulled me aside after a sermon to gently correct me. My intentions had been good, but my application of a particular passage of scripture was not accurate. He did not belittle me, or condemn me for the mistake, he humbly corrected me and went on to be a great encouragement to me in ministry.

Our culture is so concerned with political correctness that we are afraid to speak truth into the lives of others. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, it is unloving if we are plain spoken concerning sin. I have to stop and wonder if the reason our society has deteriorated is because so few have the courage to say, sexual immorality is sin; filling our hearts and minds with movies and music that lead us away from Christ is sin; compromising our values concerning the work and worship of the church is sin.

I am not suggesting that we are hateful or unloving in how we present truth. It should always been done in a spirit of meekness and loving kindness. Our desire should be for the good of others, not with the self-righteous indignation displayed by the Pharisees.

My children don't always like it when I call them to accountability for their actions. At times they are frustrated and angry that my standards and expectations for them are set higher than the world. I believe that God has called me to speak truth into the lives of my children whether they are happy with me or not.

But, who speaks truth into my life? Who holds me accountable? Who do I trust to tell me the hard truths about myself? We all need someone like that in our lives. We need brothers and sisters in Christ who love us enough to say, "your behavior is troubling, your conduct is unacceptable, the path you are walking is leading you away from Christ."

Are you open to allowing others to speak truth into your life?

Why & Wherefore

In science we learn the laws of cause and effect, in human nature we need to learn the laws of why and wherefore. Just as every effect has an adequate cause, every wherefore has an adequate why. All that to say, people do things for reasons and it would serve us well sometimes to stop and ask ourselves why?

• Why did my boss ignore my proposal?
• Why did my spouse snap at me for no apparant reason?
• Why are the kids so grumpy this morning.

Understanding the why behind human behavior can often make a challenging situation much better. If I realize that this is the week that our corporate 990's have to be filed, it makes more sense that my proposal hasn't received much attention. If the kids only slept for 2 hours and haven't had breakfast I am surprised that they are only grumpy and not killing one another.

Sometimes we are too quick to judge the motives and even the actions of others. I am not suggesting that we excuse bad behavior, or adopt the philosophy of situational ethics, just that we strive to have an understanding spirit. What a difference it makes when our character is strong enough to follow Jesus' instructions:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:43-48)

We become most like Jesus when we love those who are unloveable, forgive those who sin against us, and pray for those who do us wrong.

Fireproof a Dynamic Marriage

This past Saturday I spent two valuable hours attending the new movie release FIREPROOF. Not only was it refreshing to attend a movie without profanity and gratuitous sex and violence, but to watch a film with a tremendous message of hope, commitment, and faith.

Three weeks ago Debbie and I began attending the dynamic marriage course at the Spring Meadows Church of Christ. During our first few weeks we learned about our deepest emotional needs and Love Busters (actions and behaviors that negatively impact your marriage). Debbie quickly noted a correlation between some of the themes in the movie and some of the great lessons we are learning in class. Let me share just a few with you.

First, when there is an emotional vacuum or a negative environment in a marriage, people begin to find other ways to meet their emotional needs. Sometimes these are withdrawal, or pursuit of a hobby or activity outside the marriage. More often than not, the withdrawal can lead an individual into an affair or emotional connection to another person.

Second, many of the Love Busters mentioned in class played out in the movie. The visual representation of these actions in the movie helped us to see the negative impact of these love busters. The angry outbursts, annoying behaviors, disprespectful judgements and selfishness all played a powerful role in the struggles this young couple faced. I also appreciate that the movie did not ignore the hard topics like the affects of pornography and unfaithfulness in the film.

Finally, the message of hope that comes through is encouraging. Despite the detoriation that had taken place; when a person surrenders to God and then seeks to meet the needs of their mate wonderful things can happen.

Fireproof is a good movie because it doesn't take a Pollyanna approach to marriage. It shows the hard work that goes into making a marriage great and emphasizes the role that God must play in creating successful marriages.

I would like to encourage all the readers of this post to do three things. 1) Go and see Fireproof. If for no other reason than the fact that we need to support movies with a positive message. If we want good movies to make it to the theaters, we need to support the effort. 2) Encourage everyone else you know to go and see the movie (especially in your churhces). 3) Seek opportunities to improve your marriage. The Dynamic Marriage course from Family Dynamics (www.familydynamics.net) is a great place to begin, but look for opportunities to do all you can to make your marriage great.

Trent Wheeler